Meine Schwester

My cool sister Sarah sent me these pictures -- clearly demonstrating why I like her WAY MORE than anyone else in my family.

Hell Yes.

Thank you, Panda Express, for greasy food and advice I mastered in the womb.

Monday the 14th

Breakfast:

Lunch:

Dinner:

Stop judging me.

Please, Go Ahead.

Hit Me.

Ridiculous.

HOW DARE I try to shave my legs in the middle of the day. I don't deserve 15 MINUTES TO MYSELF, do I!?! HOW THE FUCK am I supposed to keep things up if I can't even shave my fucking legs.

Don't Tell Me...

...I already know I am a weird mom. And I'm glad I am--too many moms are teaching their kids that they're children of God, all about rainbows and fairies, and that their grandparents aren't bad people.
But in the Lyman household, we prefer to be REAL. Strange, I know. But we like to be ourselves around our daughter so she can learn to be our friend. We have a lot of fun as we explore the world and learn new things.

Harder Than I Thought...

It's officially been 7 days without sugar. The only REALLY hard things have been passing up ice cream, dessert at Magelbys, and dreaming about Strawberry ice cream Slushes from Sonic. Wish me luck.

My Color Personality

I had so much fun answering these questions and I thought you might too. Just copy and paste into your blog post and change your answers!
***
1. What's the first color you see in the morning? red
2. What color are your eyes? brown
3. What color do you wear the most? black
4. What color do you never wear? white
5. What color do you wear when you want to feel sexy? black
6. What color gets you the most compliments? white
7. What color is your lipstick? orange
8. What color was your living room when you were growing up? forest green
9. What color was your bedroom when you were growing up? lavender
10. What color are your sheets? cream
11. What color was your favorite crayon as a child? yellow
12. What color is your car? gold
13. What color was your prom dress? white
14. What's your favorite gemstone? ruby
15. What is your favorite flower? tulip
16. What color makes you happiest? orange
17. What color depresses you? beige
18. What color calms you? yellow
19. What color makes you grind your teeth? beige
20. What color would you like to try, but are scared to? gold

It's Ok With Me.

Dear Santa,

All I want for Christmas is to be her when I grow up. She's gorgeous.

Hell Yeah.

It's Monday, bitches.

Get Up!

PLEASE tell me this makes you want to dance!

~bridal showers~

I guess I understand the practicality of giving a young twenty-something girl a CROCK POT or HAND TOWELS at her bridal shower, but I prefer to give a gift with lasting benefit.

I Heart Abortions.

I Dig Her.

Dear Lady on Sartorialist,
I like you. I want to be you. I hope you like me too.
Let's get together.
Love,
Rachie

Don't Do It.

Uncle Pete

Ha ha. Needs no explanation.

Feeling Better

Making my bed (even as late as 7pm) helps me feel better. Aaaaah, big sigh of relief.

Dita Von Teese

I love this lady.
Weird? Check.
Kinky? Check.
Hot as Hell? Check.

what the fuck.

I'll Have One of Those, Please.

Okay, so maybe I didn't kill off my sinus infection, because I have had a 10-hour migraine!! Someone kill me now. Or inject me with botox. Yes, botox. I'm ready to try anything.

Let's Sit Down and Talk.

Here is Rachel's list of crucial things to discuss with your 2 year-old:
1. The holocaust. It happened, we can't ignore it.
2. Noah's Ark. It's a big farce and could never have really happened.
3. Santa Claus. Daddy likes to dress up in big red suits.
4. Plastic Surgery. Who does it and why they think they need it.
5. Hermaphrodites. Define and give examples.
6. Pubic Hair. Where it grows and why.
7. Drowning. Swimming in the deep end isn't all it's cracked up to be.
8. Gays/Lesbians. Why Timmy has 2 mommies and Uncle Kip likes boys.
9. Funerals. The best way to learn is to go to one.
10. Evil Spirits. Ghosts, exorcisms, and Ouija boards.

WHY!?

Why do I have to have a sinus infection AND be on my period at the same time!?!


Not cool.

Inspire Me

I gathered a few photos of one of my favorite things: Chandeliers. Way to kick a room up to first class by adding one of these gorgeous embellishments. Hmmmm, someday.

Have an Awesome Day!

Christmas Card

I think we've found the perfect one...

...I can't wait for my grandma to get this in the mail.

If only it were this easy...

Losing the weight I'm trying to lose is harder than I thought! I guess that's what you get for waiting until it's almost too late!