This Just In...

...This new diet is sweeping the nation. Now you, too, can have a bad attitude, headaches, and a fat ass! Believe it or not, it's easy!


Simply drink 12 oz. of diet cola and at LEAST 2 poptarts for each meal.

Note: If you have any self worth, appreciation or pride, this diet is not for you. If you exercise occasionally or regularly, steer clear of this diet. If you are prone to fainting spells, DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. One added side-effect of this diet is constant light-headedness. Not for children under 6 months.